Choices
by Lariawien
Summary: Upon finding an injured friend, Spike must make a choice. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1

A/N:  My first Buffy fic.  Rather interesting idea that came to me last night, thought I might try to expand it.  May end up slashy in later chapters (Haven't decided yet).  

RATING: PG-13, for now, I'll probably push it up later

USUAL STANDARD DISCLAIMER:  I do not own any of the characters, the setting, or anything else relating to the show, much as I would like to.  Although I wish Joss would let me borrow Spike for a bit…or Willow?  Willow would be nice too.

**Choices**

Chapter One

The vampire dropped the boy and turned to run as soon as he saw the other step into the alley. _Caught in the act, Naughty, Naughty.  The kill wasn't even difficult; the surprised vamp hardly had time to react before he was staked. Spike just shook his head, chuckling, as he brushed the dust from his clothes.  It was too easy when they were feeding._

He looked about for the body that he knew to be there, the vampire hadn't run far from where he'd dropped his meal.  A stake lay in the middle of the alley, catching his attention. _A stake?__  Not mine, must have been dropped.  He saw the sneakers first, peaking out from beside a dumpster.  __Ah, the body.  No, the victim.  There's a heartbeat._

The moon moved from beneath a cloud just as he stepped around the dumpster.  Spike bent to check the boy's pulse, turning him over to look into his face.

"Bloody 'ell."  _Knew it would happen, Spike thought as he quickly bundled the boy in his coat and pulled him into his lap, knowing that it was probably too late to worry about getting him warm anyway.  He would never make it to the hospital in time.  His heartbeat was too faint, and getting fainter.  __The whelp's gonna die, there's nothing for it, unless…Spike ran a hand over his face.  In another time he wouldn't have cared, he would have left the boy to die.  Now, he was losing a friend. __Friend?__  Can't be right.  He hates me, will hate me worse if I…_

The boy took a last shallow breath and then stopped breathing all together. 

_Well, if I get staked, I'll just have to get staked.  He won't die on my watch._

He pierced his jugular with his pocketknife, pulling Xander's face to his neck._  Almost automatically the boy began to drink.  Spike held the boy close, his fingers tangled in his dark, shaggy hair, willing himself not to get lost in the sensations which the act had triggered.  Soon the boy fell away, back into unconsciousness.  His heart stopped._

*****

He deposited Xander on his bed, pulling the rumpled sheets up to his chin, and proceeded to pace.  Every so often he would look over at the boy lying there, to all appearances dead.  His skin was already beginning to pale.  Spike would glance at him, disturbed by what he had just done, and pace again.  One side of the crypt to the other.  After a few rounds he fell down onto the couch, but immediately stood again and went back to pacing.  He glanced at the clock.  He walked over to the bed to push an errant strand of hair out of Xander's face.  He looked at the clock again.  He looked at the boy, wondering what their relationship would be now.  

_Minion?__ No.  Childe? Yes.  He studied the boy's face, tempted to once again run fingers through that baby-soft hair.  He frowned.  __Lover?__  In your dreams, you bloody ponce.  To remove the temptation, he once again looked at the clock.  The boy would awake soon.  _

Spike walked over to his ancient refrigerator.  The new vampire would be hungry.  There was only one bag of human vintage left, courtesy of the local blood bank.  He emptied it into a mug and proceeded to warm it.  Almost as if it were an alarm clock, Xander sat up when the buzzer on the microwave went off.

"Spike?"

In response Spike thrust the mug into the boy's hands, watching him study the contents. The boy shrugged and drained the mug.

"You turned me."  He said.  It wasn't a question.  It was an accusation.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:  Thanks for the response, guys!  I still don't know quite what to do with this.  The idea came from an odd source.  (Maybe as long as my Significant Other keeps giving me ideas by talking in his sleep I'll be able to keep going…*grin*)  

Disclaimer:  I don't own any of these characters, blah, blah, blah.  Really, I don't get a single red cent.  

**Choices**

(Chapter 2)

"You turned me."

            Spike grimaced at the words.  The boy still hadn't looked up from the mug he still held in his hands.

"Had to pet, you wouldn't have made it."  He started toward Xander, worried.  He hadn't expected this.  He reached out toward the boy's shoulder, but recoiled when he looked up suddenly.  His face showed his new nature clearly.

"Why does that not bother me?"  he asked, "It should bother me.  I should be very angry right now.  Instead, I'm just hungry." 

"I could get you another mug.  It'd have to be pig's this time…"

Xander thrust the mug into Spike's hands, shaking his head, "You actually live on this stuff?"

"Doesn't satisfy, does it?" Spike smiled, understanding. "You need the pain, the passion of the kill.  But, for good little boys like us, it'll have to do."

"For you, it'll have to do.  But I can feed." Xander smiled an evil little smile, and that smile cut Spike to the core.  _What have I done!_ _What if I can't control him! Spike panicked._

Xander started to walk away, only to be picked up and slammed against the wall.  __

"Look, whelp.  You're mine.  Now, I wasn't always an obedient childe either, but I promise you one thing."  Spike glared at Xander, his eyes briefly flashing yellow, "If you go chasing after innocents, you'll give the Slayer real good reason to want to kill you.  I don't want that to happen.  I don't want her to have to dust her best friend.  So if you hurt anyone in this dump of a town, **I'llbe the one to stake you."**

He backed up when the boy nodded.  He stood back and watched Xander closely.  _He's still afraid of me.  He'll have to get over that.  He chuckled, and then when he saw Xander's pout, he laughed aloud._

"It's not that bad, pet, honestly.  You can get your jollies elsewhere, you know.  Why do you think I go out of me way to help the Slayer?" 

"Hmm, Let's see," Xander held up one finger, "One: You get paid."  He held up a second finger, "Two: You want to get in her pants."

Spike laughed again.  "Touché.  But, I also enjoy the fight, the maiming, the occasional torture, the kill." He licked his lips, as if savoring the thought.

Xander nodded, "Okay, okay, I get your point.  You do know that she's gonna kill you when she sees me, right?"

"I know." he smiled.

"And that doesn't worry you?"

"Nope."  Spike sprawled out onto the couch, picking up the remote. "If you're still hungry you can fix your own supper. You're a big boy after all."

*****

Xander studied his sire from the corner.  He still wasn't accustomed to his new strengths.  With only the dim light of the television, he could see everything in the room in perfect detail.  He still felt that he should be more bothered by his new change.  After all, he had once hated everything of demonic nature simply because it was a demon.  But he couldn't hate himself, and he did still feel like himself, just without the inhibitions that had always plagued him and no guilt for anything he had done or thought of doing.  And he couldn't hate Spike anymore either, because now he knew what it was like.  He could feel both sides tugging at him, the demon and the human.  He understood.

Spike was yelling at the television, complaining of idiotic characters.  Xander had never seen him like this, with his masks dropped, when he wasn't attempting to be the cool, evil, punk-rock vampire.  It was interesting, this new Spike.  This was a version that he thought he could not only stop hating, but could actually grow to like. _He's actually kind of cute.  Ugh! Cute? I did not think that._

Spike looked over at Xander to see him making a face of absolute disgust.  

"What's wrong, luv?  Has it gone bad?"  he gestured toward the mug on the table.

"Hmm?"  Xander started, "Oh, that.  No.  It's fine."

"Why the face, then?"

"Oh, nothing, just a thought." Xander frowned.

"Oh, I see, you still find thinking difficult." Spike teased.  "Stop that brooding before you turn into my bloody sire!  Get over here and watch some telly."  He patted the cushion beside him playfully.

Xander turned even paler than he already was.  "Uh, okay." _Better not let on. "If I get to pick what we watch." He smiled._

"Okay, pet, but don't get used to it."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!  You say you want more, and you want it slashy.  But don't expect anything too graphic too soon.  I like tension, that's where all the excitement is.  So expect it to move slowly… Torturously so.

RATING: Still PG-13, for now…

DISCLAIMER:  I still don't own any of these characters.  I just fantasize about them.

**Choices**

(Chapter 3)

            Xander awoke to the sound of a phone ringing.  He was still on the couch, where he'd fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of _Army of Darkness.  And apparently he had had fallen against Spike.  He was leaning against him; his head nestled in his shoulder.  At least, he was until he jumped away._

            Spike jumped up too, but in his case it was to attack the phone.

            "Do you have any idea what time it is!"

            "It's nearly noon."  It was Buffy.

            "I don't exactly run on a daytime schedule here." Spike growled, "What do you want?"

            "Well, we need your help.  Xander's missing."

            "He's been in my crypt for two days, Slayer."

            Click.  Silence.

            Spike hung the phone up and slowly turned to face the boy who was apparently still attempting to wake up.

            "She's on her way over."  He smirked, "Apparently the idea that you would willingly spend time with me is so appalling that she can't discuss it over the phone."

            "Well, I _didn't exactly come here of my own free will, did I?"  Xander replied, "If I remember correctly I was unconscious."  He was being playful, not expecting the anger and pain that flared in Spike's eyes. _Must've hit a sore spot.__

            "If you want to go, whelp, go right ahead.  But I'd suggest you take the sewers." _Knew he hated me._

            Xander frowned.  _That was only the second time he's insulted me since it happened.  He started to approach the other vampire, but thought better of it.  Instead he sat back down on the couch and stared at the door to the crypt, apprehensive about the inevitable confrontation.  _

            Spike knew what to expect, and he expected to have to get the door repaired again.

*****

            The door fell, as usual, under the force of a powerful kick.  Buffy strode purposefully into the room, only to pause, puzzled, when she saw Xander sitting on the couch looking at her as if she were the enemy.  She was, after all, here to rescue him.__

            Then she saw the changes.  Slowly, as if ticking off characteristics in her head, she listed them, unwilling to believe what she saw, what she knew from simple slayer instinct.  _He's not breathing._  _He's too pale. Too…everything._

            As if in slow motion, she turned around to face the other, the one she wanted desperately to be able to hate.

            "What have you done?!!"

            Spike was leaning against the wall, smoking.  His eyes were fastened securely to the floor.  He didn't move.  He didn't say anything.  There was nothing that he could say.

            Surprising them both, Xander pulled her back from her approach.  He knew that this time, Spike wouldn't attempt to defend himself.  So it was up to him.  

            "He saved my life."  It was the first acknowledgement that he had shown, the first sign that he realized the choice the vampire had made. He held his friend, possibly his former friend, by both shoulders and looked into her eyes. "And right now, he's the only thing keeping me from giving in to this demon that's keeping me alive." 

            Buffy stepped back, somewhat frightened.  This was a version of Xander that she had only seen a couple of times before.  He was strong, confident.  And she had no doubt that he was capable of murder.  Or worse.

            "You will tell me what happened."  She said, pretending that she wasn't affected by this change.  "And you will tell me now."

*****

            "That went well." Spike spoke for the first time about an hour after Buffy left.  The boy had surprised him.  The conversation he had listened to had given him a great deal to think about.  Apparently, he wasn't angry about being turned.  Spike felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  Unfortunately, the boy was obviously having difficulties controlling himself.

            "I didn't try to bite her, if that's what you mean." Xander was pacing, obviously restless.  It was still an hour before sundown.

            Spike smiled. _So he was worried about that, too._

            "I knew you wouldn't, pet."

            Xander looked at him strangely, "Why do you keep calling me that?"

            "Would you rather I keep calling you what I did before?" he was staring into his wardrobe, "Somehow, it seems more appropriate now."

            He looked from his clothes to Xander and back.  _There's no way he'll fit into any of this._

            "You couldn't try using my name for once?"

            "Why does this bother you so much?" he waved his hand in dismissal, "No matter.  Relax a bit.  We'll be going out soon enough."

            "Why?"

            "You need some new clothes."

            Xander started to object, but then looked down at himself.  He had to admit that he generally looked better when he had allowed the girls to dress him.  Perhaps Spike would have the same effect.

            "You won't make me wear all black, will you?"

            "Yes.  And you have to bleach your hair too."  Spike laughed, "There's only room for one of me, pet, don't worry."

*****

            Spike moved through the racks of clothing, pulling things down and placing them into Xander's arms.  The fabrics were such that Xander would have never considered wearing before.  He wouldn't have been able to afford them, for one thing.

            Spike was staring at a pair of dark brown, antiqued leather jeans.  He put out one long finger to stroke the leather before taking them down and putting them on top of the rest of the clothes.  Xander's eyes were barely visible over the top of the pile he was holding.  He pushed the boy toward the dressing rooms.

            "Now you get to play model for me." He said.  A saleswoman overheard and gave the couple a knowing look.  Luckily, Xander didn't see it.

            Xander dropped the clothes in a pile once he reached the dressing room.  Most of the shirts were silk, in an array of colours.  Deep red, burgundy, royal blue, forest green.  He smiled. _That blue would look good on Spike.  There were also plenty of t-shirts, but in a size smaller than he would normally have worn them.  They would cling.  _

            There were some items that he was more dubious about.  Particularly the one black shirt that Spike had picked out: a velvet polo. _There is no way I'm wearing velvet_.  Nonetheless, he pulled it over his head and pulled on a pair of jeans.  These weren't the baggy cut that he normally wore; they fit close, hugging his form.  He had once heard the girls say something about how a good pair of jeans could work wonders for the male body.  Looking down at himself, he wondered if this was what they had meant.  He certainly seemed more _prominent_ if nothing else. He glanced toward the mirror before realizing that he would see nothing, and stepped out.  He would have to depend upon another's input.

            Spike whistled.  A change of clothes and the boy was downright gorgeous.  Slowly, he let his eyes wander, pretending to be inspecting the fit that he already knew to be perfect.  The shirt looked soft, touchable.  And the jeans, well, they drew the eyes to a very particular spot.  He smiled.

            Spike's expression was enough to convince Xander that perhaps velvet was not such a bad thing after all.

            He modeled every article of clothing, actually quite enjoying himself.  Especially when the saleswoman came over and started complimenting him.  It was a different experience than what he was used to.  Spike discarded very few of the items he had picked out.  They ended up buying almost everything.  It was when he was carrying the pile to the cash register that he began to wonder something about the little shopping spree.

            "Um, Spike, how exactly are you going to pay for all of this?"

            "Here's a secret, pet, and you'd better not tell anyone."  Spike winked conspiratorially, "I'm rather wealthy.  Two centuries means a lot of time to make money, you know."

            Xander was shocked, after all, Spike was always asking for money, and often bragged about his talent for theft.  "Exactly how wealthy?" he asked.

            "Oh, hmm, coupla billion, I s'pose."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N:  Once again, thanks for the reviews.  I was feeling playful in the last, and to be honest, I still am.  (And my fiancé's home this weekend, at the moment curled up in bed asleep and looking very elvish.  Needless to say I'm a happy little girl right now.)

DISCLAIMER:  I've said it before, I'll say it again.  I don't own any of these characters.  

**Choices**

(Chapter 4)

            "You _suppose you're a billionaire!  This is not something that you __suppose."  Xander yelled at Spike once they were back on the street.  Spike just strode along, mildly amused._

            "I don't really bother to keep track anymore.  Got lawyers for that."  He took one of the bags from Xander when he saw that he was having difficulties with the juggling, "Just have to make sure I die every eighty years or so and leave the money to myself."

            Xander stopped for a moment to work out what he'd said, "Huh?"

            "Who do you think's been payin' the Slayer's bills?" 

            Xander blinked as he put the pieces together, "Why the charade?"

            Spike lifted his arms and spun around.  "Fits the image, pet.  But since we seem to be dispelling that image tonight I should tell you that I'm educated as well."

            "As in college?" Xander noticed that Spike's accent had slightly changed.  Less cockney, more perfect King's English.

            "Oxford." He laughed, "Always wanted to tell the Watcher that his Latin was lacking."

            They walked back to the crypt, discussing the small amount of Spike's past that he was willing to reveal.  Even though he remained quiet about some parts, Xander was surprised at his sudden bout of openness.  Once there, Spike stopped at the door.

            "Go on in and get a snack, luv.  I have to take care of something."

            Xander stumbled a bit at the unexpected term of endearment, and turned to face Spike.  His head was turned away, as if he were listening to something.  He realized that he could hear it as well, a fight, which in the graveyard could only mean one thing.  What was more, he could smell blood.  Human blood. 

            "Shouldn't I go too?"

            Spike shook his head.  "You're stronger, yes, because of the change.  But I still haven't taught you how to handle yourself."

            "And I don't already know?  I've done this before."

            "And you got yourself killed.  Go inside."

*****

            Spike returned, his shirt torn in places and a scratch on his cheek.  It had been a large group.  He walked through the door to find Xander standing before the bed, staring at it as if it were going to bite him.  _So he's finally thought about that, has he?_

            "'lo, pet."

            "I really wish you would stop calling me that."  Xander looked up at him, "There's only one bed."

            "Glad to know you can count."  Spike teased, a bemused expression on his face.  _I wonder…_

"Where will I sleep?"  

            "On the bed." Spike smiled.

            "Then where will you sleep?" Xander began to worry more. He stared at the bed again.

            "On the bed." Spike repeated, his smile turning to a very large grin.  It was more than he could do to keep from laughing.

            "Spike, I'm grateful to you for saving me and all but…"

            "Pet, it's a double bed.  We're grown boys here.  We can sleep, just sleep mind you, in the same bed if necessary."

            Xander frowned.  "I guess." He looked up and saw the scratch on Spike's cheek.  It was already healing, but there was still a small trickle of blood.  Without realizing what he was doing, he wiped the blood off and then carefully licked it from his fingers.

            Spike turned away quickly, pulling his coat closed. 

            "Niblet wants us over tomorrow.  She's got some idea about throwing you a party." He decided to change the subject to something a little less embarrassing.

            "Dawnie?  But why would she want to throw me a party?" Xander asked, confused.  "And did she consult with Buffy?"

            "Slayer didn't seem particularly pleased, no." Spike answered, "But Red talked her into it." He turned back to look at Xander, "Think you can handle it?  You haven't been in a group yet."

            "I almost attacked Buffy, but I was angry.  She went after you, and I almost…"  Xander looked at Spike questioningly.  

            "I think you can do it, pet."

*****

            Xander awoke, this time spared from the embarrassment of a compromising position.  Spike was already awake and pacing.  Clothes were laid out on the foot of the bed.  The leather pants.

            "You know, you're taking this dressing me thing way too far, Spike."  He said, "You're not my mom."

            "I wouldn't have to if you didn't have such phenomenally bad taste," Spike smirked.  "You like to sleep don't you?"

            "How long have you been up?"

            "Since this afternoon.  Had to catch my stories."

            Xander groaned and attempted to bury his head in the pillow.

            "Get up, luv.  We've an appointment to keep."

            Xander pulled the comforter over his head.  Unfortunately it wasn't long enough to cover his head _and feet.  Spike saw an opportunity and reached for one foot._

            "Grraagh!" Xander jumped up, "That tickles!"

            "Well, it got you up, didn't it?"

            "You're evil."

            "So are you. What's your point?"

            Xander threw a pillow.

*****

            They walked up to the familiar door and Spike knocked.  Dawn opened the door in a really awful party hat.

            "Whoa!  Who are you and what did you do with Xander?" she said, looking the fledgling vamp up and down, with obvious appreciation.

            "'Lo Bit."  Spike frowned, slightly perturbed. "Eyes off.  And I'd better not catch you looking at any man like that again."

            Xander started to walk in and met with invisible resistance. Dawn saw his problem and quickly invited him in.

            "Sorry, Xan.  Forgot." She bounced away to the kitchen, humming under her breath.

            Willow surprised Spike by walking up and hugging him.  She stood on tiptoe and whispered thanks into his ear, looking at Xander as she did so. He understood.  After all, the two had always been tight.  She wouldn't have fared well if the boy had died.

            "Nice pants."  She greeted Xander with a playful smile before pulling him into a hug as well.

            Buffy was sitting in the living room with her arms crossed over her chest.  She was not pleased.  Spike tactfully decided to stay away from her for a while.  For his own safety, of course.  Xander glanced at her and frowned, but didn't look surprised.

            Giles walked over, looking a bit wary, and shook Xander's hand, "I want to talk to you two shortly."

            _Of course, Spike thought, __Watcher wants to know the where's and why's.  Probably the how's too._

            Dawn and Willow came out of the kitchen, each holding a mug of blood.  One was the one Spike always used.  The other had a picture of a teddy bear on the side.  He supposed it would now become Xander's special mug.

            "This is human!" Spike smiled at the surprise, "Did you raid the blood bank?"

            Xander realized that they had acquired the blood for him and wouldn't have done so for Spike.  

            "Buffy got it." Dawn said, confirming Xander's suspicions.

            She looked up from where she was sulking and nodded.  "Didn't want him hungry around my sister."  She said, pretending that she'd done it for safety.  She ignored Xander's expression at her lack of trust.

            The dinner went well, but Spike was already dreading what came after.  The inquisition portion of the evening.  He knew that the others wouldn't rely only on what the Slayer had chosen to tell them.  And Xander had only told her his side of the story.

            Most of the questions were predictable.  But the Watcher truly seemed to attempt to get at the science of the thing.

            "So you found him dying…" Giles repeated, confirming what they had said. "And you decided to turn him so you, what, slit your wrist or bit into it?"

            Spike shook his head.  "I cut my throat." The Watcher's eyes widened.  Spike hoped he wouldn't ask why.  It was a question he couldn't answer himself.  _Why did I choose something so intimate?  I should've just given him my wrist._

            "And then after the exchange you just waited around until he woke?"

            "Why do you bloody well have to know everything?!!"  Spike shot up from his chair, running his hands through his hair. "Do you want to know how I sat there with him in my lap, listening to his heart stop?  Watching him die and knowing how I had damned him?"

            Xander stood and put his hands on Spike's shoulders, noticing that he was shaking.  _He cared.  Wonder why I never realized that before.  Not just for Dawnie and Buffy, but for me too._

            "Sit.  They don't mean to treat you like a criminal.  They just want to know."  It wasn't the first time that they had questioned Spike.  He wondered if it had always affected him like this. "And Spike, you haven't damned me."

            Spike nodded and sat back down, but this time he joined Xander on the couch.  Neither noticed Buffy's eyes on them.  

            Dawn spoke up, "Look, you guys are ruining all the fun!  This is supposed to be a party."  Giles had the grace to look properly admonished.

            With that, most of the group resumed the playful attitude that had already been established. Movies and popcorn were called for.  Eventually that reverted into an all out food fight.

            Noticing that Dawn had fallen asleep and Willow was nearing it, Spike stood and pulled on his duster.

            "Come on, pet, time to go."

            Xander stood and, hugging Willow, walked to the door to join his sire.  Once the two had left the others turned to look at each other.  Giles cocked an eyebrow.  They had all heard the nickname.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:  Sorry it's taken me so long to update.  School and such.  It doesn't help that my demonic ball of fuzz spilled something sticky on my keyboard in his zest to kill a post-it.  I'll try to keep the typos to a minimum.  Again, thanks for the reviews.  I'm still unsure of where this story is headed, so I'll just let the characters play around in my head as they wish.  On another note, I just found out that some of the Buffy cast are going to be at Dragon Con in Atlanta!  Woo-hoo! Now I just have to acquire the money to go.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Even my lap is currently in the possession of the aforementioned black fuzzy, who, if asked, would say that he owns me.

**Choices**

Chapter 5

            "What were you and the Slayer discussing so quietly in the corner?"  Spike asked as they walked toward the crypt.  He knew that they thought that he hadn't caught the quick conversation, but his eyes hadn't left Xander all night.  For one thing, he was worried about allowing a soulless, and fortunately, chipless, vampire anywhere around his Niblet.  For another, this new Xander-vamp was interesting to watch.

            "She wants me to start patrolling."  Xander answered, "But not with you."

            "Why the hell not?"  Spike had expected Xander to patrol with the Scoobies eventually, but only under his watchful eye.

            "She said I'm too protective of you." Xander looked puzzled.  He hadn't understood where Buffy had gotten such an idea.

            Spike had noticed Xander's protective behavior, and was just as surprised as Buffy.  _My white knight._  He used to be the Slayer's._  He smirked at the thought._

            "You can patrol with me.  And only if you're with me.  But you need to learn to fight." 

            "I know how to fight."

            "Don't argue.  Every fledgling wakes knowing how to survive, pet.  You need to do more than just survive.  Which means that you get up early."

            Xander frowned at that.  He remembered the times that he had seen Spike running about in the sun with a blanket over his head.  "What is it with you and daylight?  Don't you understand the definition of the words 'creature of the night'?"

            "I miss it." 

            Spike's answer surprised him so much that he barely realized that they had made it to the crypt.  He hadn't been a vampire for more than a few days.  Not long enough to make him feel what he had lost.

            "Besides," Spike smirked, "Sixteen hour lie-ins just aren't healthy."

            "I did not sleep for sixteen hours."

            "You did.  I should know.  I got tired of waiting for you to wake up, so I had to do the pillow trick."

            "Pillow trick?"

            "Yeah, putting a pillow beside you to hold instead of me."

            That morning Xander refused to sleep on the bed.

*****

            "Watch your left, pet.  Keep your fist higher, it's easier to defend."

            Spike feigned another attack on Xander, and won.

            "Spike, you're stronger and faster than I am.  This isn't working." Xander frowned up at his sparring partner from his position on the floor.

            "Don't forget, the same blood runs through our veins.  I'm no stronger than you, just more experienced." Spike's expression turned serious, "But there are things out there that are stronger than us, faster than us.  You have to be prepared."

            "Okay, okay.  I guess we can try again."

            This time Spike turned unexpectedly and grabbed Xander from behind.  He quickly had the boy pinned to the stone wall.

            "How're you gonna get out of this fix?" he asked between clenched teeth.  Xander struggled, but in vain.  Spike frowned.  Xander had shown that he was capable, but only when he was threatened.  _I have to do something to get him to fight properly._  With an idea in mind, he ground his pelvis into Xander's suggestively.

            Within seconds, Spike was sprawled on the floor of the crypt, laughing.  Xander was circling him warily, game-face on.

            "Somehow I knew that would do it, pet."  He rolled about on the floor, he was laughing so hard.  "I'll just have to remember to molest you if we're ever attacked."

            Xander positively snarled, "I'm glad you find me so amusing, dead-boy." His face relaxed into its normal appearance.  Somewhat giddy from his success, he fell upon Spike suddenly, his fingers curled into menacing claws.  They were aimed for the small strip of bare skin that had been exposed by Spike's t-shirt.

            "Don't you dare." Spike's eyes showed genuine fear.

            "You did it to me." Xander grinned as he found a particularly vulnerable spot.

            "AAAAAAAAARGH!  NO!" Spike screamed, curling into a fetal position to protect himself, "I HATE TICKLING!"

A/N:  Yes, I know, sickeningly fluffy, but I was in a fluffy mood.  It comes from being stuck in a room with a very cute girl for several hours. Makes me downright bouncy.  Especially if it's a girl I've spent significant time crushing on, which this was.  Anyway, Review please.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N:  Yes, Xan is soulless.  But, I think Spike proved that even soulless creatures are capable of great affection.  And they are also capable of controlling their impulses if given proper motive.  But don't expect either one of them to be good little boys all of the time.  

DISCLAIMER:  Honestly, if I owned any of this would I spend hours at financial aid begging them to hurry up with my loan?

**Choices**

Chapter 6

            "I am not going to allow him to go out there without me, Slayer." Spike said, frowning.  They were outside the crypt, just after sunset, and Buffy had come to pick Xander up for patrol.

            "If you go out together it could be more of a liability.  He overreacts when anything threatens you.  And I expect you would do the same if you saw him in danger."  

            "Do you really think you could control him?" Spike threw down his cigarette, "If he went out of control could you guarantee me that you wouldn't harm him?"

            "He wouldn't do that.  He's my best friend."

            "He's not the Xander you knew.  Not anymore.  Don't expect him to be all nice and housebroken.  That'll only last as long as he's afraid of me.  And he won't be afraid of me forever."

            "Then what's the solution?  The curse?  Willow and Tara can…"

            "Never." Spike pulled her chin up so that their eyes met.  They stood close. "I happen to like the boy the way he is."

            "I noticed." Buffy frowned.

            "Jealous?" Spike grinned.

            "Never." She spun around and hastily removed herself from the vamp's proximity.

            "We have one hope, Slayer."

            "What's that?"

            "He actually _wants_ to be good.  I don't know why.  I've never seen a vampire who actively tried to fight his nature like this before, without extenuating circumstances.  It's strange. Could you have the Watcher investigate?  See if this has happened before?"

            "I can tell you without consulting any books, Spike.  Xander wants to be good because he doesn't want to disappoint you." With that, the blonde spun on her heels and walked away.  

Spike turned toward the cracked door of the crypt. "You can come out now.  She's gone."

"I thought you had more confidence in me than that." Xander sank to the grass, "You only want to patrol with me so you can keep an eye on me."  He pouted.

"I could care less if you did decide to go snack, pet.  But it would hurt her."

            "And you don't want her hurt.  Of course." Xander remarked angrily.

            "Don't, pet.  Don't assume anything."  Spike pulled the boy up, pulling him against him and into his arms for the first time since the first night. "I do want to keep an eye on you, but only to protect you.  I know what it's like, luv.  I know what you're going through.  But you're stronger than I was.  I couldn't fight it."

            "What if I can't either."

            "I'm here to help you.  To give you the kind of support I didn't have.  And besides, pet.  I enjoy being around you.  You're a lot more fun than you used to be."

            "Thanks for the compliment." Xander replied sarcastically before reaching up to rub his neck.

            Spike frowned, "You know that if you're that averse to sleeping with me, I could have taken the couch." He reached up to massage Xander's neck.  He wanted to get off the subject of comparing old Xander to vamp Xander.  It would only lead to trouble.

            "You're not getting off that easy, Spike.  I'll have you know that I used to be a very fun person." Xander's eyes were darkening and he made an unnecessary gasp for air.  Spike noticed and grinned.  He would win this argument.

            "Really?  And would the old you have allowed me to do this?"  Spike walked Xander back into the wall, pushing their bodies together, "Or this?" he pressed a quick kiss to Xander's lips.  For a brief moment Xander leaned in to him, but then he suddenly pushed him away.

            "I haven't changed _that_ much."

            Spike's grin widened. "I know." He whispered.

*****

            They walked through town, quietly.  Xander was reluctant to look at Spike, and Spike had decided to let Xander be alone with his thoughts.  He had felt the desire coursing through the younger man's body.  It reminded him of another time, when he had caught the boy's eyes on him, noticed that they lacked the malice that he had come to expect.  The only sound that had come from the two of them for two hours had been during the few quick, minor skirmishes that had occurred that night.

            They were nearing the alley where _it_ had happened.  Spike wasn't certain that Xander remembered.  He hadn't exactly been fully conscious.  But he saw Xander glance toward the alley and look away quickly, remembering the attack.  Just as he turned away, a familiar redhead ran out.

            "There you are!  Come on, we need some help here!" Willow grabbed Xander by the hand and pulled him into the alley.  Spike followed.

            A demon of unknown origin held Buffy against the wall.  Four more stood in wait.  But the girl smiled a smile that was very familiar to her friends.  She kicked, and was suddenly free and pounding the surprised demon against the opposite wall.

            "Nice of you two to join us!" she yelled as Spike and Xander joined the fray.  They made quick work of three of the demons, but then Xander saw the fourth throw Spike several feet.  He vamped out and ran full speed at the offending demon, chasing him out of the alley.  Spike yelled to stop him, but was ignored.  Before he could get up, the fifth headless demon fell into his lap.

            "Ugh, Slayer!  Do you have any idea how much it costs to get demon blood out of clothes?"

            Buffy just looked at him incredulously and shook her head, chuckling.  Of course she knew.

            The three of them went out to look for Xander.  They found him in the street, a couple of blocks away.  They stood and watched.  The two girls were puzzled, not quite knowing what to make of what they saw.  Spike was simply amused.

            He sat on the demon, pinning him to the ground.  The creature had already lost one limb, and Xander was, to all appearances, playing with him.  With a knife.

            "Having fun, pet?" Spike grinned.

            Xander nodded.  He proceeded to carve his name into the creature's chest.

            "Yick!  Can't you just behead it and get it over with?" Buffy asked, making a face.

            "He hurt Spike."  He carved Spike's name below his own.  The demon wriggled, mumbling in some strange tongue.

            "Xander, please, kill the poor beast." Willow begged.

            "This is what he is now, Red." Spike said, but he grabbed the axe in Buffy's hand and effectively separated the demon's head from his neck.  Xander pouted, and looked up at the girls almost hungrily.  Willow backed away from the golden gaze, but the ridges faded from Xander's face.

            "I wouldn't bite you, Willow." He said, frowning, "But I'd better go home."

            Spike looked down at him, an unreadable expression on his face. "Yeah, pet.  I think you should."

*****

            "Are you mad at me?" Xander asked as they returned to the crypt.  He was sitting on the stone sarcophagus.  "I don't know why, I just couldn't help myself.  I just wanted to hurt it, to hurt anything really.  And I had fun doing it."

            "Well that much was obvious."  Spike sat beside him, "Don't worry.  I don't expect you to completely deny your nature.  I would like you to spare the others the sight of it, but that's not always possible.  Especially when you're angry.  Just don't be so _graphic with it next time."_

            "Maybe Buffy's right.  I shouldn't patrol with you.  I didn't get that way until I saw him hurt you."

            "He didn't hurt me.  I can take a hell of a lot of punishment, pet."  Spike looked over at the boy, but he was still gazing down at his hands. "Why are you so protective of me?"

            "Believe me, Spike, I'm as confused on that matter as you are." 

            "Don't worry about it, pet.  I think I have an idea."  He hopped down and walked over to the refrigerator.  "Ready for some supper?"

            Xander nodded, and looked up.  If he had been able to, he would have been blushing.

            "I think I'll sleep in the bed tonight."

            "Smart boy."  Spike had to struggle to hide his smile.


End file.
